Dan
Shaughnessy Sucks –
I normally put my Shaughnessy/Ryan
basketball columns on lowposts.com, but I’m gonna start limiting those
to one a week during the playoffs, since there should be an abundance over the
coming week(s).
Yesterday on lowposts.com,
Shaughnessy lamented the fact that the season was over. Today, not so much..
Backtracking!
(Shaughnessy’s flip-flops in bold,
my Adidas in plain.)
Quite A
Series Of Events
(removes
monacle) Yes, quite a sequence of occurrences, eh old chum?
Winners all
around.
Except for the Bulls..
The Red Sox pummeled the
Orioles, 12-1, in the annual Monday brunch at Fenway.
Nothing more
manly than a brunch.
The Bruins whupped the
Canadiens, 4-2, to go up, 3-0, in their playoff series. More than 22,000 won
the
Though some won better than others..
And then the perfect
Wait, I coulda sworn some notable
sportswriter told me that all hope was lost and we had no chance?
Kevin
Garnett or no Kevin Garnett
(the Ticket stayed on the bench for all 48 minutes of Game 2),
we have a spectacular first-round series on our hands.
From one goddam day ago: The Celtics’ playoff quest is just getting started,
and it feels like it’s already over.
The Bulls are giving the
Celtics more trouble than the Lakers did last
spring,
Actually, the Cavs & Hawks
gave us more trouble than the Lakers last year..
and every Green fan knows how close the Celtics came to
taking a 2-0 deficit to the
Topical!
It will be hard to match the
drama of Game 2 when the series shifts to the
I’ve already read Stern’s script
for Game 3. It’s gonna be amazing.
This one featured a whopping 18
lead changes and some spectacular individual performances from the likes of Ben Gordon (42 points on an Andrew
Toney night), Rondo (19 points, 12
rebounds, 16 assists, 5 steals), and Glen Davis. Big Baby played the role of
Sam Jones for
Sam Jones with a
thyroid problem.
scoring a career-high 26 points, including multiple jumpers from
beyond the foul line. It was like watching Curt
Schilling stealing bases or Vince Wilfork
returning punts.
It was like watching an athlete
who normally does one thing comically doing another thing!
But it was Allen who emerged as
the man, hitting four threes in the final period, scoring 30 after starting the
series with six quarters of horrible shooting. Sugar Ray went 1 for 12 in the stunning Game 1 loss, and made only one of four from
the floor in the first half last night. That means he was 2 for 16 over six
quarters. That also means he scored 28 in the second half, none bigger than the
last 2.
Three?
"He's a great shooter and
we didn't have an answer for him at the end," said Gordon, who was
unconscious all night.
Unconscious all
night? That’s like a mini-coma..
If not for the actions of
Allen, Rondo, and Baby, the Celtics would be contemplating putting the parquet
in mothballs for the summer.
The TD Banknorth Center must have
a huge attic.
The Bulls are proving to be a
nightmare matchup.
Reckless abandon, perchance?
Miami, Philly, even
Nope, nope & triple nope.
The Bulls have young legs and
they are not intimidated.
Ew, stop staring at young men’s legs, Shaughnessy.
If they hadn't allowed the
Celtics 21 offensive rebounds last night, the Bulls would be up, 2-0, easily.
The Celtics had 32 second-chance points.
If they hadn’t been really shitty
in one of the three most important facets of the sport, they might not have
lost.
"That was the key,"
said Celtics coach Doc Rivers.
It's more than just the Kevin Garnett factor now.
Because it has
done so fifty percent of the time.
Fifty percent!
Garnett's 7-foot shadow didn't
seem like that big of a deal when this one finally ended. This is a good thing.
Better we talk about the guys who are playing.
Well, you already exhausted a
column’s worth on Garnett yesterday.
After Saturday's loss, Rivers
said he wasn't taking any more questions about KG, but when asked about Garnett
Sunday, he told one reporter, "You never know." Taking questions
after shootaround yesterday, Rivers put a small percentage on the possibility
of The Franchise returning before the end of the
playoffs.
I don’t think we need Steve
Francis’ help at all. Thanks.
Rondo went down with an ankle
sprain late in the first half but came back for a terrific final two quarters.
Triple-double while playing
injured. That would get you extra points in Madden..
The
One of the three best backcourts
in the NBA is proving to be problematic? Ya don’t say!
Derrick
Rose had 36 points in Game 1
and Gordon 42 last night. Gordon scored the Bulls' final 12 points.
Ball hog.
"It's definitely
encouraging the way we played," said Gordon. "We just need to
continue to do that and make some adjustments at the defensive end."
Like, play defense. That’s an
adjustment.
It has not been a defensive
series. But it has been a spectator's delight. Unless you
have a heart condition.
Or you hate the Celtics like Dan
Shaughnessy does.
Unfortunately, Celtics
president Danny Ainge does have a heart
condition. He suffered a mild heart attack last week and was advised by doctors
not to watch these games. Ainge was at the Celtics'
"We told him to go
home," said Rivers. "It was nice to see him looking normal, and you
know if he's home, there's no way he's turning his TV off tonight."
Bones is on!
No one could turn away from
this game. The perfect ending to the perfect day in
Dan Shaughnessy is a Globe
columnist. He can be reached at dshaughnessy@globe.com.
~~~
Well, Dan
managed to behave himself today. He wasn’t nearly as shitty & negative as
usual. One little hiccup in Game 3 and he’ll be back to his old self again: An
incredible douche.