Bob Ryan Also Sucks –
Two columns in
one day. Not sure which one goes
first. One’s a reflection of Game 5, one’s a
reflection of the series thus far. So I guess, this
one first?
Who cares..
Four Quarters Aren’t Enough In This Series
We need five! Five quarters! Ah ah
ah!
Tomorrow night, why not just
start the score at 80? Get right to the good stuff, you know?
Kinda like how Bob Ryan starts
dinner with dessert.
Throw out that aberrational
thing last Thursday and we've had four dazzling, exhausting, and draining
exhibitions of NBA greatness in what may have begun as a relatively innocuous
2-7 matchup but has turned into instant history. In 63 years of NBA playoff competition, no teams had ever played
three overtime games in one series, of any length. They have now.
History be
damned!
And we're far from done.
Actually there’s only one more
game. Possibly two. So we’re very much almost done.
"Well," said Doc Rivers, "we won."
He probably needed to say that
out loud in order to reassure himself, half afraid there wouldn't be some
officiating adjudication that would bring his Celtics and
If there’s one thing these
officials do well, it’s adjudicatin’.
But no, it really was official.
The Celtics really had come from 11 down in the fourth period to get themselves
into an OT and Paul Pierce really had hit both
the tying shot that created the extra session and three more huge fadeaways in
the OT to carry his team to a 106-104 triumph and a 3-2 series lead.
"We had our chances, and
that's what makes it tough," sighed
Joakim has plenty more eye-bugging
and foul call-complaining in his system.
The Bulls have no reason to
feel otherwise. They did not bring anything close to their A game to this pivotal Game 5, but they took the defending champs
into OT in their own building. In their minds, they will play better at home,
and as far as Game 7 is concerned, they have already done what the Hawks could
not do last year, which is to win a game in
Yeah, but two? Not bloody likely.
Things did not exactly look rosy
for the champs at the
I assume he means ‘dumpster.’
Globe editors were fired months ago. They’re clearcuttin’ that
office.
Doc's timeout
message? "Slow down. I
don't recognize you."
Who are you? Where am I?
YAARRGGHHHHHHHH!!
Or words to
that effect.
So to speak.
Pierce, who had been relatively
quiet, got things started by taking it hard to the hoop, and that triggered a
SUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGE!!!!!
Good offense gave birth to good
defense
And Stephon
Marbury was the afterbirth.
and the Celtics began their
march back, surviving the controversial exit of Ray Allen via personals with
5:45 left and the Bulls up by 3 at 83-80 (a weird double technical with the
7-foot Miller),
Worst call of the playoffs so far.
Which, if you’ve watched a minute of the playoffs this
season, is quite impressive.
and finally tying the game at 91-91 on Pierce's fast-break
drive with
"I thought that stretch was
the first time in the entire game that we actually slowed down and played with
great patience on offense and trusted each other," Rivers said.
The defense wasn't bad, either.
"In order for us to get to
that position," Pierce agreed,
He agreed with something you wrote
in the future? Wow. Does Paul Pierce have a Stargate?
"we've
got to defend. I mean, I can come down and shoot and score, but if we don't
defend, we're not back into the game."
Even after all that good work,
the Celtics were trailing by 2 at 93-91 following a 17-footer by Derrick Rose with 16.6 seconds left. Pierce's response
was to spin from the foul line and drill that tying 15-footer with 10.5 seconds
to go. Ben Gordon was wide right on a jumper
Stupid holder..
and off they went into yet another OT.
You can pretty much sum up the
Celtics' OT in two words: "Paul" and "Pierce."
I would’ve
added another word right in the middle called “Fucking.”
Trailing, 101-100, Pierce
maneuvered for a tough fadeaway at
I don’t know about that “hard and
well” thing. He sucked. He’s sucked all year. He’s playing hurt. I was begging
for Doc to put in House the second Ray fouled out.
and an isolated Pierce held the ball and held the ball and
held the ball before calmly maneuvering for one more killer fadeaway at 3.4.
"I took my own time, I got
some space off the dribble, and you know, got into my sweet spot and took the
shots," said Pierce, who has done this before and will undoubtedly do this
again.
"It's his shot,"
agreed Del Negro. "He hit some tough fadeaway shots with a hand in his
face. That's what great players do."
And you know what great coaches
do, Vinny? They switch up the defense and the man guarding said “great player”
so he doesn’t do the same thing seventy times in a row. This team is winning despite
you.
The final 3.4 seconds were
cloaked in some controversy when Miller took an inbounds pass from Kirk Hinrich and went to the hoop, where Kendrick Perkins blocked his shot as Rajon Rondo hit him hard in the face, drawing blood.
Which he
subsequently spit all over the goddam floor.
With a chance to tie the game,
Miller was short on his first attempt - was he woozy? –
No, he just sucks.
and had to miss the second one deliberately.
Except he didn’t realize you gotta
hit the rim for it to count. Again: sucks.
Many observers thought Miller
was a dazed individual when he missed that shot, but Del Negro denied it.
"He was bleeding a little
bit, but Brad's a tough guy, and when you're a big guy, you don't want a little
guard to get you out of the game," Del Negro said.
And yet he did. Pussy.
That "little guard"
was once again a certified menace, adding to his growing lore with another
spectacular game. Rondo's line last night was
Doc like blood.
"Great foul by Rondo," Doc said. "You always talk about
playoff basketball. No layups. Rondo did it on the very last play, and it won
the game for us."
Game 6 we’re breakin’ out the
folding chairs if somebody tries to drive. We’ll be DDPn’ bitches.
Perkins was another major
contender for the Best Supporting prize with 16 points, 19 rebounds, 7 blocks,
Best performance by any Celtic
this season. Unreal.
and, in the upset of the millennium, zero personal fouls. Kendrick Perkins
playing 48:20 without a single negative toot?
Gas-X is a helluva drug.
"He played very
smart," acknowledged Rivers. "We talked to Perk. I mean, we just
don't have enough bigs. He has to stay on the floor."
Okay, Perk
stay on floor.
Which doesn't mean that when
he's on the floor, he has to, you know, stay on the floor. He was a marauder
all evening long, playing a truly manly game in the trenches.
Kendrick Perkins: Truly Manly.
The Bulls got big games from
Noah (17 rebounds), a hobbled Gordon (26 points), and a stitched-up Hinrich
(19), plus solid efforts from Rose (
Game 6 is tomorrow night.
Chicagoland babysitters should count on a very lucrative evening.
Chicagoland babynappers
should stop kidnapping babies. Stop it, you hoodlums!
Bob Ryan is a Globe
columnist and host of the Globe's 10.0 on Boston.com. He can be
reached at ryan@globe.com. 
~~~
Bob Ryan
didn’t necessarily take a stance on the Rondo foul, but that’s better than
taking the ‘it was a flagrant’ side that everybody in fucking