Bob Ryan Also Sucks –
A nice little
quickie from Bob Ryan. His face still
hurts, dammit!
(Bob’s gobs of blob in bold,
my wry cries in plain.)
Everyone Gets In On The Act For
Even Gallagher?
Just in case you forgot who
carried the banner of the American League into
the 2008 World Series . . .
It was me. And it was heavy.
It wasn't the Red Sox.
What?
It wasn't the Yankees.
No!
And it wasn't the Angels.
Heavens!
Nope, it was none of the above.
Why, whoever could it have been!
Because I am a person who is just beginning to follow sports and I decided to
start off my sports fandom with a random Bob Ryan article in The Globe!
It was the team that just
opened the 2009 season by taking two of three from the Red Sox, beating them
without star center fielder B.J. Upton (wrist)
(too
limp)
and doing so right here in the little cash register we know
as
Did they beat the Local Nine?
Sox fans had their fun Tuesday
afternoon.
Not if they called in sick on
Monday..
But that was only 1/162 of the
season. Opening Day Hoopla
and the Boston Pops still only get you one W.
Stupid
The way
Through thick
car windshields.
his team had a pretty good shot of sweeping, not that he's
upset about yesterday's 4-3 conquest of the Red Sox only giving his club two of
three.
"We played well all three
games here, I thought " Maddon declared.
Declared? Did you interview him
from a balcony?
"That first day, [Josh]
Beckett pitched that well. But they were well-fought games, all three of
'em."
One well-fought game! Two
well-fought games! Three well-fought games! Ah Ah Ah!
And talk about confident
skippers,
Talk about cocky Gilligans.
try this: Maddon emptied the bench in the opening series.
Yeah? Well, he still looks
like an old lesbian..
He played mix 'n' match,
Tito’s more of a Boggle guy.
sitting down the likes of Carl Crawford,
Dioner Navarro, and newly acquired DH Pat Burrell, then had the pleasure of watching
outfielders Matt Joyce and backup catcher Shawn Riggans hit home runs off Daisuke Matsuzaka.
He also made liberal use of his
bullpen,
Tax & Spend! Tax & Spend!
employing Brian Shouse and Joe Nelson, each an offseason addition, to nail down
the rubber game.
"I think everybody kind of
had a piece of the action," he pointed out.
Much like Terry Francona, Maddon is a Big Picture person.
Ooh, he’s gonna hate the postage
stamp portrait I made of him, then.
He came here with the goals of
a) winning games and b) having as many people as possible get involved, so this
was a thoroughly successful trip to
"All of our bullpen guys,
I'm comfortable with them pitching even or ahead in the game," Maddon
said. "You've got to get guys up there to feel like that. Getting those
two guys into a meaningful game here at Fenway like that early is a good game,
I believe. I wanted them to feel they are members of the 2009 Rays,
Devil Rays. Don’t
deny who got you there..
yes, but I also feel confident with those guys in there, I
really do."
No, I really really do! Why is
everybody laughing?
He was speaking specifically of
his pitchers, but he was also thinking of such bench people as Riggans and Gabe Kapler,
Traitor!
who saw a lot of action in his first series with the
defending
"You can't sit them on a
bench for two weeks and expect them to do well," Maddon explained.
"That makes no sense."
Most people charged with making
baseball predictions were ready to acknowledge that the Rays were a good ball
club in 2008 and were quite legitimate
Yeah, you gotta pick the team with
it’s biggest star possibly about to miss the entire
season & it’s ace dragging a seven ERA into Opening Day. You gotta make
that call. Everytime.
followed by the Red Sox. The general feeling seemed to be that
there would be some kind of market correction for the Rays.
But the only significant
personnel change was one the Rays didn't hesitate
making. They were more than willing to sacrifice 14-game winner Edwin Jackson, sending him to
Isn’t Joyce a girl’s name?
Most people automatically
assumed postseason revelation David Price would inherit Jackson's spot in the
rotation, but the gifted southpaw will start the season in Durham, not because
he stunk up the joint during spring training, but because the Rays have vowed
to be cautious with him and simply because they are still so good they don't
really need him - yet.
Give it a week.
The Rays pounded Dice-K for
three home runs and four doubles while building a 4-0 lead for Matt Garza, the sturdy righthander who held the Red
Sox to three hits in seven innings of splendid work in Game 7 of the 2008
"Later in the season, I
probably would have let him go deeper," Maddon said. "I liked the way
he was throwing in the seventh even more than I did in the fifth or
sixth."
But yanking Garza and
introducing Messrs. Shouse and Nelson into the action fit into the overall
plan.
Jesus, Bob. You’re not
French-Canadian. That’s like seven columns in a row..
Truth be told, Maddon's bullpen
almost blew the game. Nelson relieved Shouse with two away and a man on first
in the eighth, and two batters later, it was 4-2 after Nelson walked Jason Bay and gave up a gap RBI double to Mike Lowell. But in the game's biggest situation, the
veteran righthander fanned Jed Lowrie on a 3-2
pitch to end the inning.
Troy
Percival made life interesting
in the ninth,
He always does. Good luck with
that,
surrendering a leadoff homer to Jason Varitek
and issuing a two-out walk to David Ortiz. Kevin Youkilis, who to that point was 3 for 3 with two
runs and a walk, gave it a good ride, sending Kapler a step and a half onto the
dirt and a couple of steps away from the Red Sox bullpen. In other words, it
was a 400-foot out to end the game.
In other words, we might as well
have just quit! Wahh!
"It doesn't always have to
be an oil painting to be successful," smiled Maddon, as only the winner
could.
Hey man, I can smile too. And I’m
a huge loser.
It was a heart-to-the-throat
ending
That sounds strangely erotic.
to a very competitive opening
series, and when you look at the hard time the Orioles gave the Yankees and the
fact that Toronto has started out well, it was a reminder that each team in the
AL East can look forward to many harrowing afternoons and evenings.
"As we were coming off the
field," Maddon confided, "one of the umpires said to me, 'Is the
All-Star break tomorrow? It was such an intense series.' "
I totally LOL’d and snarfed milk
out my nose!
"They're a good
team," said Terry Francona. "I like to think we are.
CONFIDENCE!
It's going to be a long,
interesting season."
The next installment is April
30, down in the Trop. You might clear that date on your viewing calendar.
Bob Ryan seems like the kind of
guy who actually has a viewing calendar.
Bob Ryan is a Globe
columnist and the host of Globe 10.0 on boston.com. He can be
reached at ryan@globe.com. 
Well,
that was painless. Gotta admit, Bob was a little less windbaggy today. Must be
all those face drugs he’s on..