The Inglorious Bastards (1978)

Quel Maledetto Treno Blindato—also known as the Italian Dirty Dozen—stars Fred Williamson –AFL Champion defensive back and Black Caesar. It’s also the basis for the next Tarantino flick. So essentially, Quentin’s next rip-off is technically a rip-off of a rip-off. Confusing.

So steam up some meatballs, grow a thick mustache and sit back and enjoy. Mangia! Mangia!

Italians pretending to be Americans; what a bunch of pastafajool!

Gigantic mustache on that guy. Epic mustache.

I never realized World War 2 was so damned groovy.

“That’s just Jesus H. Great!”

“I’m having my pee.” Did Black Caesar just say that?

I’ve always wanted to say that some place was “crawlin’ with Krauts.” Someday..

Why is the Lieutenant making guttural tribe woman noises?

Okay, Mustache Guy’s startin’ to creep me out.

And we have our first N-bomb of the night. Classy.

Nazi in the hay! I think that’s a nursery rhyme..

Nazi in the hay

Nazi in the hay

Heil ho Zieg Heily ho

The Nazi in the hay!

Ambushes out the wazoo. World War 2 seems kinda dangerous.

So did everybody in the 70’s speak German? Throw some subtitles at me, Italians!

There’s so much goofiness going on right now, I can’t even comment: guys pretending to be airplanes; peed pants; Black Caesar’s bojanglin’ all over the place. The horrors of war.

Men in their boxers sitting in the grass by a river, smiling at each other and commenting on the beauty of nature: Goodness gracious.

Naked chicks, that oughta butch it up a little.

As usual, the black guy cockblocks the white guys.

Puny Dweeb’s gonna get some. As long as she doesn’t find out he pissed his pants earlier.

Lieutenant’s doing a fantastic job of bullshitting his way into a dangerous mission here.

Black Caesar got some good distance on that Italian. He could be a world-class Italian-tosser.

That French guy is more monkey than man. He’s covered in fur.

The Nazi is very unlikable.

Col. Buckner loves it.

Getting captured by French soldiers must be really embarrassing.

Old Nazi Guy ain’t buyin’ it.

Nazi Train, ho!

Well, they shouldn’t put ramps next to fences; that would’ve solved that problem.

Should they be firing weapons next to the train with the missile warhead in it?

You just know Hitler’s gonna blame all this on the Jews.

Ew, why is there poop all over the walls? Black Caesar, get out of there before you catch e. coli.

Oh no, Puny Dweeb died.

“Stick a pencil in there.” The “that’s what she said” line of the night! (Brought to you by Pennzoil. When things are said that could’ve also been said in a sexually suggestive manner by a lady, Pennzoil will be there.)

Black Caesar got gat. Those racist Nazis.

Well there goes the Nazi train station. That’s gonna screw up my morning commute.

Flaming Nazis! The prophecies were true!

Peter Boom, that’s a sweet name.

Well there ya go, the Americans won. Take that you Nazi pinko bastards! Or did the Italians win? I’m confused; and hungry for delicious Prince Spaghetti. Motto benne!

Overall: Three out of Four Happy Ethans. Directing – V Writing – V Acting – V Music – X