Blue Chips (1994)

It’s unfortunate that Nick Nolte will go into the annals (ha, annals) of filmdom more for that ridiculous mug shot than for this masterpiece—lambasting collegiate athletics.

Nolte is about to Bobby Knight his ass off.

He wants them to play in their jockstraps? Weird.

“Every time we’re getting ready to play I just wanna throw up.”

I can’t believe I didn’t get accepted into Western University. It was either Western U. or College Tech. I coulda been a Dolphin!

No, Coach! How will they stay hydrated?!

Rick Pitino is such a Texas Western punk.

“Great call, you’re the best.” Fantastic Pitino, fantastic.

Basketball Punt – Excellent way to get ejected. Almost as good as when Van Exel threw a TV on the court.

Athletic Director Bob Cousy.

Investigative Reporter Al Bundy.

“You shoulda pressured the guards more.” “Nag, nag, nag!”

Tarantino has to make a Nolte comeback happen.

I sure hope Western University stays within NCSA regulations.

Gotta say, it would be pretty bad-ass to shoot hoops with Old Man Cousy.

I sure hope Western beats Coast.

Damn you Arliss!

Penny Time! I bet Penny’s mom is gonna be sassy.

I was wrong, she’s foxy.

French Lick, Indiana. Hmm..

Fuck yeah, CCR.

Awesome casual wave by Bird.

“If you catch my drift…” Yes, you don’t like black people. Drift caught.

“Algiers?!”

Is he in Somalia? Why are all the village children running with them?

“Tests are culturally biased.” Best Shaq quote ever.

Why is their starting lineup only three guys?

Neon’s gonna bang Nolte’s ex.

How do you forget your Shaq?

JT Walsh brings the hoes.

Neon’s such a cut-up.

Aw, Penny’s homesick.

“There will be no smoking gun because I am the smoking gun.” So…you don’t exist?

“Tony was my guy! Alright? Tony was my guy!”

God, Vitale..

The most famous Hoosier point guard of all-time: Bobby Hurley.

Neon would appreciate it if Indiana would get that stuff out of here.

Bobby Knight, calling for the dunk-shot. Followed by a layup.

“Butch, when you get it in to Neon, you get it in hard!”

Shaq’s an incredible ventriloquist. Every time he dunks the ball, he screams with his mouth shut.

That locker room door is not Shaq-proportional.

“Woo! Woo! W-U!”

Nuclear surfboard? I’m not following, JT.

Nolte’s killing with the Ferrari jokes.

“Give a kid a tractor?”

Whoa, big Bulgarian slam from JT.

Nolte’s a quitter.

Was there a nuclear explosion? There’s no people in this town.

Overall: Three out of Four Happy Ethans. Directing – X Writing – V Acting – V Music – V

What I’ll take away most from this film is the storied rivalry of Western & Coast. Will they ever beat Coast? Damn you, Coast! Damn your Coast campus and your surrounding coastal regions!!